A cannibal banquet, the 10 best shots to the junk in sports history, seven reasons you're going home along and more in today's links.

Let's just for a moment set aside the fact that -- for no readily apparent reason -- the cast of Heroes is apparently trapped in some sort of Austrian fairy tale.  Look at where Milo Ventimiglia's eyes are focused.

WWE's Layla, Kate Hudson flirting with nudity, who the heck is Lisa Marie Scott, Eva Longoria familiarizing us with Tony Parker's nightly view and much more.

If you MUST publicize your hunger strike via a video blog on the internet, you're gonna hurt your cause if you do it in broken English. Sorry, bud.

Ilary Blasi is an Italian showgirl and model and like all Italian showgirl/models she is very hot. Enjoy Ilary Blasi.

There is something completely fascinating about watching our fellow Homo sapiens perform any act at barely sub-light speed. Whether its watching Fabian Washington run the 40-yard dash or Kobayashi eat hot dogs, there's a little piece inside all of us that wishes we could replicate those feats. Today, we examine the fastest musicians on YouTube.

The Mist trailer, a re-write for G.I. Joe from the Pirates of the Caribbean scribe, ten WWE wrestlers get suspended for dropping dirty and more in this edition of the DV Network News.

Some cops can't break a door down, a woman has been mugging toddlers, horrible pick-up lines and more in today's links from the web.

Yésica Toscanini is an Argentine model who's appeared in back-to-back SI Swimsuit issues plus she's also Ask Men's "woman to die for." Talk about pressure on Yésica Toscanini.

This may be the most ridiculous song ever, but at least the man knows what he likes.

Seriously. Stop. We know that the whole “I can wear my baseball cap in a way that isn’t quite aligned with any one of the four natural directions in which to wear a hat” thing is currently in fashion, but we’ve got  a few reasons why this is one fashion you really shouldn’t follow. You dumbass.

Strip clubs can be a confusing place.  Fortunately for you, they're no mystery to us.  That's why we gave you the guide to strip club etiquette.  Now, we bring a little refinement to the points of the ladies involved:  the five types of strippers you should look out for.

Filmwad interviews Clive Owen, Kevin Smith finishes his horror screenplay, doublevixen brings us Irritating Fashion Trends and What High School Should Be Like (But Isn't) and more in today's Network News.

Keira Knightley, Kournikova in a bikini, super hot Nina Moric, Britney Spears doesn't like pants and much more!

The best Shatner moments, the nastiest cuts MMA has ever produced, the vodka that's packaged like an assault rifle and more in today's edition of links.

DV's own Anthony Burch shows us the only proper way to eat a salad with the hilarious latest entry to his series of instructional videos.

Last week, I used this space to successfully fix our troubled education system and turn the tide in the war on terror.  Much to my consternation, those with the ability to put my plans into action have apparently done nothing.  Though I feel discouraged by their inaction in light of my obvious genius, I feel compelled to nevertheless press forward in my goal of solving all of the world's major problems.  This week, I am tackling the great unpleasantness that is the HIV/AIDS pandemic.  I think you'll find my solution to be as elegant as it is profitable.

Believe it or not, getting into a bar is a privilege and not a God-given right. We have no idea why the Right to Bars isn't in the Constitution, but it isn’t. Apparently, there are even signs posted in some places saying they “reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.” Some bars and clubs even have the balls to charge us just to walk through the door. Seriously, no bar is that cool. But that’s a whole other story.