8 Strange Beers You've Never Heard OfDecember 11, 2012 - 8:00 am |
Take a look at this list of strange and downright beers and decide for yourself if you have what it takes to explore the unknown.
If you're like most guys, you probably have a favorite beer. It's comfortable. Familiar. It doesn't tell you that you “have a problem” and “what you did to your cousin was wrong.” But if you want to step outside of the norm, the world of beer is a big one – there's more brews out there than you can imagine. And some of them are absolutely bizarre.
Cave Creek Chili Beer
Cave Creek Chili Beer is a pale lager that doesn't just have a cutesy name, and it isn't intended to compliment a hot bowl of chili, as one might suspect (although the insane among us might try that). You know how tequila bottles have a dead worm floating around in them? Every bottle of this beer has an entire chili pepper crammed into it. Most folks will probably take one sip and run in the other direction, but spice lovers might take a masochistic liking to it – that's lovers of spicy foods, not the members of the Spice Girls fan club.
Japanese Beer for Kids
Before any overly sensitive readers get their panties in a twist: this “beer” doesn't have alcohol in it. But it sure looks like beer, and it's intended for kids. Japanese company Sangaria owns a successful line of imitation beers for kids called Kodomo no nomimono, which means “children's drink.” It comes in bottles or cans, with realistic six pack fun action! All you need to get the little tykes next is a pack of candy cigarettes and fun pretend divorce papers, and they can be just like their parents.
Mamma Mia Pizza Beer
Honestly, pizza beer sounds like a delicious marriage combining two of the most exquisite tastes known to man. Who wouldn't want the delicious taste of pizza brewed down into an ice cold beverage that has the added effect of getting you wasted? Reviews claim that this stuff is actually good, but the creator's statement that “It all started with a surplus of tomatoes, a bag of garlic and an idea” kind of makes you wonder. That and the fact that they proudly proclaim that their special pizza beer contains “no animal products.” Really? Apparently there aren't little pepperonis floating around in it, and that's strangely disappointing.
Vitamin Enhanced Beer
A few years back, the Stampede Brewing Company located in Texas introduced a line of beers that claimed to be infused with all kinds of healthy vitamins. Sounds like an ideal situation for the health-conscious alcoholics among us, right? Well, the Food and Drug Administration didn't think it was such a great idea – questioning this fine proprietor's “honesty – and put an end to the supposed health benefits of the vitamin beer in a hurry. Interestingly enough, most beers already contain a decent amount of vitamin A, B, D and E, which is a convenient factoid to share with your sponsor the next time they check in on you.
Cherry Chocolate Beer
O'Fallon Brewery's Cherry Chocolate Beer product is a sip of heaven for drinkers with a sweet tooth. If you've ever found yourself chewing on those “big cherry” candies with the gooey filling and washing them down with beer before, O'Fallon's interesting creation might be for you. So about 0.01% of the people reading this – hey buddy, you know who you are. Good for you. Another plus with cherry chocolate beer is undoubtedly that after downing a twelve pack of the stuff, your involuntary purging session will be about ten times more pleasant than the upchuck associated with having too much “Natty Ice.”
Getting your hands on a decent beer must be tough for blind folks. You might think you're about to take a swig of a nice, fresh beer, when you suddenly find yourself assaulted by someone's old cigarette butts (well, to be fair, we've all been there). Uerige Beer, which is actually considered by most brew experts to be some of the finest beers in the world, has come up with a brilliantly simple solution: braille on the labels of their beer. So, blind dudes reading this, treat yourself to a nice cold one. Wait a second.
The very thought of seafood beer is a little nauseating. Images of your last birthday party at Red Lobster that ended in tears in the parking lot might flash before your eyes. Even so, the Harpoon Brewery was daring enough to create their proprietary Island Creek Oyster Stout beer. Yes, it is brewed with real oysters. This might be one of those beers intended for real manly men – like the kind of guys who would work at a place called “Harpoon Brewery.” The amount of manliness is so strong that you can almost see a large guy with a beard, probably wearing flannel and a hat made out of something dead. “I like my beer how I like my women. With dead oysters.”
Insanely Strong Beer
Sometimes you just need to get drunk. We've all been there. But it's such a hassle to have to swill down can after can of watery, mamma's boy beer, right? It can take, like, a half an hour to drink a six pack. In today's fast paced world, the functioning alcoholic businessman just doesn't have that kind of time. So why not try some of the world's strongest beer? Get a load of this name: Ambachtelijke Bierbrouwerij en Distilleerderij 'T KOELSCHIP (yeah, that capitalization is on purpose, bitch) created a beer called “Start the Future” which has a 60% alcohol content. That's equivalent to an entire twelve pack. After a couple of those, you'll probably at least feel like you can see the future.