The Gun Knife
This is the conversation that took place when this knife was invented:
“I say, this knife is a little too stabby, and not quite shooty enough. What can you do about that, Doctor?”
“More shooty you say? I think my research team can figure something out for you.”
Seriously, imagine that you're about to be mugged. Some jerkwad with his little switchblade or whatever is demanding you hand over all of your cash and your Costco card. You pull that bad boy out of your...actually wait, where would you store it? You'd need a special holster or something.
The No-Tip Knife
This cooking knife has been marketed as the only knife that “can't be used as a weapon,” since it has a rounded tip (and presumably this would prevent inner-city kitchen stabbings). That sounds like a bit of a challenge, since pretty much anything sharp can be used as a weapon. In such a litigious society, don't you think that the creators of this nanny-state garbage are kind of asking for it?
Scorpion Wrist Knife
The perfect gift for your angsty little cousin that does nothing but paint his nails black and listen to death metal.
Faux Sapphire Knife
The purpose of knives made with this material should be pretty straightforward after you think about it for a second: they have no metallic parts whatsoever, so they can get through metal detectors.
The Huge Swiss Army Knife
This is, truly, the kitchen sink of knives. It seems pretty cool at first glance, but think about trying to use the screwdriver or something—you'd have to rotate the whole thing, and that would probably be a pretty big pain in the ass. It is neat for collectors though.