5 Energy Intensive Ways to Be LazyFebruary 12, 2014 - 2:27 am |
There are winners and losers when it comes to being lazy. We’re talking about those who have managed to be lazy with a particular amount of panache; those with a certain flamboyance about their lounging.
Being lazy is awesome. Sitting back, letting the world pass you by and not giving a flying fart who cares about it - paradise.
Like with all things in life, there are winners and losers when it comes to being lazy. We’re not talking about those who suffer at the expense of your prolonged procrastination. No, no; we’re talking about those who have managed to be lazy with a particular amount of panache; those with a certain flamboyance about their lounging.
Mermaids dig suntans.
While they have a certain debonair aura which surrounds them, this does come at quite a steep price – energy expenditure. Lesser men would make do with a knackered sofa and a luke-warm beer on which to whistle away their life, but not these champions of the snooze – they know that great relaxation can only come with months of planning and, in most cases, some time spent with an arc welder.
Here is what they’ve come up with.
5. The Motorized Hammock
I love the smell of jealousy in the morning.
Most people dream of having a hammock slung lazily around two palm trees on a sun-kissed beach, daiquiri in one hand and not a challenging thought in your head.
But what happens if you don’t have two palm trees and a sun-kissed beach? What happens if you don’t know the first thing about the fine art of daiquiri preparation?
Wait until those losers on the Segways get a load of me.
Dubbed The American Dream and created by Stephen Shaffer, this was result of a Red Bull sponsored competition; so, expect to see it on a half-pipe in the very near future.
The motorized hammock is fully automated, comprised mainly of the components of an electric wheelchair and steered by an old videogame control pad. Their dedication paid off the second they zipped off to the shops and felt like a boss.
4. The Bed Car
Loafing about napping in a piddling hammock is all fine and well for those of us who are fine with not getting a good night’s kip. However, what if you demand the comfort required for a full night’s sleep while traveling at a rather alarming 87 mph? Well, you’ll be requiring the services of Edd China’s Bed Car then, won’t you.
0-60 in five sheep.
Devised for the Discovery Channel’s Wheeler Dealer program, the bed is now available to hire and tempt the fairer sex with. Edd has created a whole raft of other motorized contraptions, including a desk, sofa and bathroom set.
That man must have an exceptional shed.
3. The Terror Jacuzzi
Are we relaxing yet?
Bubbling your troubles away in a Jacuzzi is probably the best thing you can do in hot water. However, some need to take one of the most relaxing activities on the planet and make it into the most terrifying – by suspending it off a bridge and letting it dangle a further 150 meters off the ground.
What do you mean, you left the bottle opener on the coach!?
This act of laid-back lunacy was undertaken off the New Gueuroz Bridge in Switzerland by what I can only imagine to be a group of escaped asylum inmates. Even so, I tip my hat to their dedication to recreation.
2. Sofa Surfing
When the working day is done, we like nothing more than putting our feet up and relaxing – sometimes even chillaxing – on our favorite sofa. This is clearly not enough for the owners of this sofa, as they have strapped a pair of wakeboards to the bottom and use it to disturb the peace and quiet of Lake Kootenay in Canada.
Good things come to those who wait… and wait…
The devilishly lazy chaps who devised this intoxicating concoction of high thrills and easy reclining are part of the BroShenanigans You Tube channel. As you can imagine, most of the mischief that goes on there involves something comfortable with an extra engine thrown in for good measure.
1. The Jet-Powered Recliner
Never be late on pension day again.
Sometimes we need to get somewhere in a hurry – that’s just the way of the world at the moment. Luckily, we don’t have to travel in any form of discomfort as we busy ourselves with our day-to-day tasks, all thanks to this – the jet-powered recliner.
Bill is starting to get competition for his jet-fueled madness from the Cra-Z-Boy recliner company. It’s like the world’s most laid-back arms race.
Bill Decambre has single handedly delighted female fans and repulsed energy conservationists everywhere by attaching a jet rocket to the back of his favorite chair.
He showcased it at the 2002 Reno Air Fair, and I imagine is still working to pay off the cost of the gas and electricity bill. Still, I’m glad he can afford decent headwear.
So, there we have it. Some of us choose comfort, some people choose extreme comfort and others want to kill themselves while perching on their favorite recliner. Laziness is an ongoing human endeavor, and one some of us work hard at…
Ingenuity at its best.
… some of us, on the other hand, are just plain lazy.