3 Hilarious Incidents of Kind Thieves

July 22, 2014 - 2:21 am | Permalink

As a society, we have an interesting love-hate relationship with thievery. Sometimes there are “good thieves,” like Robin Hood or Bernie Mac in Ocean’s 11. Sometimes there are bad thieves, like Bernie Madoff. But what about kind thieves? Could they be the most interesting of all? Read on to find out!

The Laptop Thief Who Returned Files

On one fateful evening, a university professor thought that his laptop would be safe if he left it “hidden” near a stairwell in his apartment complex while he went to the laundry room. Why he didn't just bring it with him is a mystery, but of course, it was gone when he got back. A neighbor probably stole it, wouldn't you think? In any event, the professor was devastated, because despite his vast intelligence and strong footing in the world of academia, he apparently never learned how to back up his important documents. He had lost ten years worth of data—nothing could be replaced.

Lo and behold, about a week or so later, it wasn't his laptop that was anonymously returned by the thief, but a USB stick containing all of his irreplaceable documents. Betcha he learned to back it all up after this experience.

The Car Thief Who Returned a Baby—And Yelled At The Mother!

This has to be, hands down, the most hilarious “kind thief” story ever. Usually, when a car is stolen with a baby inside of it, it's a harrowing, frightening experience for the parents involved. A young couple were unloading fishing gear from their car, and the brainiac mother decided it would be fine to leave her infant in the running car for “just a few minutes.” This is one of those things you're told to never do by the doctor who delivers your kid. Yell at them, burn them with cigarettes, but never, ever leave them in a running car.

Anyway, a homeless dude stole the car. A few blocks later, he realized that there was a baby in the back seat—instead of panicking and realizing that not only was he going to get busted for grand theft auto, but child abduction as well, he got mad at the poor parenting skills on display. He drives the car back to the distraught mother and starts yelling at her for leaving the kid in the car. He escaped before the cops showed up and was never caught.

The Christmas Miracle Thief

You know those really annoying people who go overboard with their Christmas decorations? As if they want to tell the entire neighborhood that, in no uncertain terms, what they really need for Christmas is a sense of taste? Well, one of these families had a large Santa Claus and a couple of inflatable penguins stolen from their lawn. Since local news is terrible and doesn't actually report anything of substance, this was apparently a story—they got on TV. The thief must have felt bad, since they woke up a few days later to find their tacky lawn ornaments returned, along with a hundred bucks.


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