Are you the kind of uncultured swine that thinks chess is boring? It's all right, even people who love chess know it's a little boring, especially if you're just watching. It would be great if there was just a little more violence in addition to the satisfaction of capturing your opponents rook. Meet the answer: Chess boxing. A brilliant way to breathe new life into the ancient, nerdy game of chess, and it's pretty much exactly what you think it is. Two guys box between rounds of chess. This adds a whole new element to the game—if you really whallop your opponent in the head, he might not play chess as well the next round. This is, by far, one of the best ideas ever.
In a delightful throwback to how men used to get wives during humanity's more primal eras, the wife carrying world championships are a Finnish traditional sport. The game is simple: it's basically a footrace with other men, but you have to carry your wife. You may carry her in any way you wish as well. Here's the best part: there are no weight rules. So, basically, if you want to compete in the wife carrying championships, you'd better get your best gal on the Jenny Craig right quick-like. If you really want to take things to the next level to win that title, you'll divorce your current wife and marry the next cute midget girl you can find. I hear there are websites for that kind of thing.
How can something so badass also look so silly? The amount of dexterity and physical fitness you need to maintain in order to be “decent” at riding a unicycle is pretty high—let alone to actually play a game of mother flipping hockey while riding one. Seriously, how much money would you pay to watch a game of Unicycle Hockey? Can you even put a price on something that god damn entertaining? These men are true heroes.