Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.
Do you hear that?
It’s the sound of millions of Star Wars fans, impatiently checking their watches, shuffling their feet, and drumming their fingers on desks across the world.
We didn’t get an Episode VIII trailer alongside Rogue One, leaving us all confused and disoriented. Without a new movie to get hyped for, how can we maintain momentum in our constant Star Wars fueled fan obsessions?
(Ignoring the fact, of course, that Star Wars fans managed perfectly well between the years of 1983 and 1996, and between 2005 and 2012, without new Star Wars movie news.)
Now, the Superbowl has come and gone without any new The Last Jedi news, which has disappointed many fans who tuned in for the sport solely on the off chance that they’d be the first to see more of Mark Hamill staring blankly into the middle distance.
Let’s be fair, though, a Superbowl trailer for Star Wars? Pah. That would surely be an enormous waste of everyone’s time.
(Fun fact: the original draft of that Venn diagram had the pink circle labelled “Star Trek fans”, and was equally accurate.)
Without a Superbowl trailer to give purpose and meaning to yesterday’s event for those who struggle to care about sporting endeavors, fans are turning their attention to the next big event on the horizon: Star Wars Celebration.
If you’ve never been to a Celebration, it’s kind of like Comic Con, but focusing on a single movie franchise, and just a bit nuts.
According to an anonymous source for Star Wars News Net, Lucasfilm’s current big priority is a short behind the scenes video for The Last Jedi which will debut at Celebration, which will kick off in just over two months, on April 13. It seems that there aren’t any plans to release a teaser for the movie before this date.
This certainly does fit the Episode VIII teaser onto a similar schedule as other recent Star Wars movies. Our first look at Rogue One came in April, while the second teaser for The Force Awakens was released at Star Wars Celebration in April of 2015.
Of course, in the case of The Force Awakens, an earlier teaser had already been released in November of 2014, meaning that fans at least had something to tide them over while waiting over a year for the finished movie.
But hey, maybe this time, Lucasfilm will do something different. Perhaps we’ll get a teaser for The Last Jedi in the run-up to Celebration, or maybe we’ll be made to wait even longer.
Adam Driver has suggested how cool it’d be for Disney to refuse to let any footage of the movie escape before its release, because hey, it’s Star Wars, we’ll all go see it anyway. While this would deprive us of the fun of speculating over footage, it’d also keep the movie’s secrets entirely intact, like buying a magazine from the top shelf that comes in a black plastic wrapping so as not to ruin some poor child’s innocence.
(Not that The Last Jedi will be the pornographic Star Wars movie you’ve been waiting for, but those no doubt exist in websites that you’re already very familiar with—check that Venn diagram above for clarification.)
Whatever’s on the horizon, Lucasfilm had better get their act in gear soon.
All the frustrated Star Wars fans are getting impatient.
It’s not pretty when they revolt.