Star Wars is fun, right? But do you know what would make it even more fun?
A screen the size of a planetarium.
That’s going to make the experience more enjoyable—nothing says “fantastically cinematic experience” like feeling slightly uneasy as you crane your neck up to look at the ceiling for two hours.
But, hey, at least it’s not 3D. Somehow only The Phantom Menace ever got a theatrical release using technology that’s purposefully designed to induce headaches, nausea, and detached retinas.
And then they released it in 3D and made things worse.
Walt Disney (the company, not the popsicle that lives under the Pirates Of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland) is of course incredibly pleased with their continued deal with IMAX—not because it improves the quality of the art that Rian Johnson has produced, but because idiots will pay more money for IMAX tickets even though the up-front costs to the movie studios are virtually negligible.
According to Alan Bergman, the current President of Walt Disney Studios:
“The Walt Disney Studios strives to bring great stories from visionary filmmakers to life for audiences around the world, leveraging the best technology available to create exceptional theatrical experiences. That's what IMAX brings to the table, and we look forward to continuing to work with the IMAX team on the unparalleled upcoming slate of films from Disney, Pixar, Marvel, and Lucasfilm.”
In many ways, IMAX is of course a continuation of George Lucas’ vision for the future of cinema.
While the director of four Star Wars movies personally (perhaps unwisely) banked on 3D, he has long been an advocate of increasing the quality of the movie theater experience in order to convince people to sit in sticky crowded rooms with expensive popcorn in order to see a film, rather than watching in relative comfort at home.
The ability to pause a movie is secondary in George Lucas’ mind, compared with the need to deliver a presence with movies that can’t be achieved through any medium that doesn’t generate over a hundred dollars in revenue from a family of four.
So while lots of George Lucas’ fantastic ideas for future Star Wars movies are currently being used, sheet by sheet, in lieu of toilet paper at Disney HQ, his innovative vision of financial gain achieved through fleecing the working class continues to be invaluable to the Disney corporate strategy.
Meanwhile, rumors have begun circulating which suggest that, in order to make certain the ball never stops rolling on the Star Wars money machine, director Colin Trevorrow is already gearing up to start filming Episode IX this coming July.
The vaguest possible casting call has gone out, and all seems to be going swimmingly, despite the unfortunate loss of Carrie Fisher at the end of last year.
It seems that, by stacking the filming of Han Solo and Episode IX back-to-back, Lucasfilm is hoping to claw its way to a regular summer release date for future movies, meaning that Christmas will be free from Star Wars in a few years.
Well, relatively free from Star Wars. We’ll all still end up being presented with glow-in-the-dark Yoda underpants and Darth Vader oven gloves from earnest family members who needed last minute gift ideas and vaguely remember our childhood obsession.
Because right there at the heart of Star Wars is the unashamed intention of generating enormous piles of money.
Here’s hoping George Lucas is pleased with himself.