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"Spoof Movie" Assholes Tackle 'Star Wars' to Make America Spoof Again

Remember the early to mid 2000s? Every year there was another one of these godforsaken spoof movies that escalated in terribleness... Scary Movies 2, 3, and 4, Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie. The Bush II administration was notorious for being the least fertile period for American comedy on record, what with all the comedy coming out of the White House. The highest grossing comedies of his administration were Wedding Crashers, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Bruce Almighty, and Meet the Fockers—I'm not including Paul Blart Mall Cop, which came out in the final four days of his administration, even though I'm well within my rights to do so.

What do all of those movies have in common? You guessed it, they're all garbage. But I digress, as this was also the period in which "spoof" movies thrived. The first Scary Movie came in the final months of the Clinton administration and its box office success led to increasingly moronic copycat films like all of those I mentioned in the second sentence of this article. Thankfully the Obama administration swept into office in January 2009, bringing with it an era in which Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer—the comedic brains behind all of those aforementioned spoof films—went straight to video and/or streaming with all of their efforts, which were many and included a Hunger Games "spoof", a Fast & Furious "spoof", and a found footage women saying dirty words and doing dirty things movie.

They were rightly relegated to a corner of the pop culture universe where their brand could live on in a way that didn't force those of us who review films for a living to have to sit through them anymore. But no good thing can last, and the cyclical nature of these things means that these douchebags are going to kick off the Trump administration by heading back to theaters with a Star Wars spoof bearing an impossibly unfunny title. That's right, the first two beneficiaries of Trump making millions of unsuccessful white American males great again are these two assholes. Despite not having produced an actual, legitimate laugh in FOURTEEN fucking movies, these guys are going to get more money and a bigger stage to launch their comeback, because they want to Make America Spoof Again

According to the Hollywood Reporter, Friedberg and Seltzer are going to be writing and directing Star Worlds Episode XXXIVE=MC2: The Force Awakens the Last Jedi Who Went Rogue. Read it again. And again. And again. Just read it one last time. Are you still there? Right, moving on...

So, who is giving these cinematic criminals money? I'm glad you asked. It's about six producers who are obviously launching some sort of Mel Brooks' The Producers-esque tax scam...

Covert Media’s CEO Paul Hanson is producing the film alongside Broken Road Productions’ Todd Garner. Covert Media also is financing the project, and launching worldwide sales in Berlin.

"Jason and Aaron are a powerhouse duo who have proven time and time again that they are fully tapped into what audiences love," said Hanson. "Their fearless take on pop culture has us beyond thrilled to tackle the world’s most popular franchise with the two of them leading us into a galaxy far, far away."

Covert's Elissa Friedman, Media Content Capital’s Sasha Shapiro and Anton Lessine and Broken Road’s Jeremy Stein will executive produce the film.

The problem with this brand of "spoof movies" is that they're constructed of nothing but pop culture references mashed together incongruently. Imagine an eighty minute episode of Family Guy, now with fifty percent more random non-sequiturs. They'll rely on people having seen Star Wars once and not remembering anything beyond what was in the trailers. They'll then add in references to other movies, usually lines from the trailer, and then some current events thrown in and probably a spoof of The Voice with some guy doing an Adam Levine impression and getting kicked in the groin. The point is, these guys know you haven't seen all of these movies, and they haven't either, which makes what they do so fucking aggravating. And we were allegedly done with them, but no such luck now that there's a concerted effort underway to Make America Spoof Again. 

So just remember kids: If you were born in America, and you're white, and you're a man, and you're a Christian—particularly a Protestant denomination, and you've demonstrated proficiency in some sort of trade that is now more or less obsolete, you're going to be just fine under President Trump. And if you're a halfwit who enjoys laughing at these spoof movies because they only require you to have a surface level understanding of what they're spoofing, you're in for four more years of this kind of garbage, so rejoice!

If you're anything other than that—or as it's now commonly known, the majority—buckle up, because this kind of shit is only getting started. Big Box comedy is going to make America laugh again, or at least that part of America that doesn't find everything else going on in the world so god damned depressing. What a time to be alive! 


Steve attanasie

Steve Attanasie

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