You can all put away your tape measures. There’s no need to measure the metaphorical manhood of each and every comic book movie universe, because we all know who the winner is.
Marvel’s Cinematic Universe has more length and girth than any other. DC can suck it. Fox can merely look upon it and weep.
Heck, even Lucasfilm can be caught eyeing Marvel jealously in the communal Disney showers. The House That Iron Man Built is the greatest, grandest spectacle ever committed to film.
If, for whatever reason, you needed any proof of this cinematic dominance, Marvel has released a teaser for Infinity War which exists solely to remind you that they own you.
Sure, the video seems to say, you can claim that comic book movies are “Low Art”.
You can feign indifference and pretend that you’re more interested in new, original fictional properties. Heck, you can even claim that you enjoyed Batman v Superman if you like.
But we’ve got Robert Downey Jr, Tom Holland, and Chris Pratt on a set together at the same time, so we know you’re going to come see this movie.
The entire video is fascinating in its blatant posturing.
It seems that someone at Marvel (probably Feige, he seems like that kind of guy) feels that the studio can get away with flaunting their success, reminding everyone of just how awesomely powerful the studio behind The Avengers has become.
The basic message behind this video, as will likely be the theme of every piece of marketing for Infinity War, is that it’s the biggest, best collection of all your favorite action figures in a single movie.
It’s fun how, in the video, it’s claimed that nobody has ever tried anything like Infinity War before—this mix of characters is apparently groundbreaking. There’s no hint of irony in this comment, even though the video has just finished referencing The Avengers and how Marvel first put together the concept of their shared cinematic universe.
This video smacks of the kind of self-assured smugness you get from a standard Apple commercial, when the electronics giant tells you that they’ve invented something incredible, when all they’ve done is put a slightly beveled edge onto the same phone you bought last year.
Similarly, Marvel’s willing to lie to you and tell you that Infinity War will blow your mind, when in reality it’ll just be a more crowded Avengers movie, but in space.
Let’s face it, though, we’re still going to go see the movie.
We just can’t get enough of that Marvel storytelling girth.