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DC Offers Matt Reeves 'The Batman' Director Gig, But Will He Want It?

What’s the difference between Ben Affleck and a monkey that has a rudimentary grasp of the English language?

Nothing, according to Warner Bros.

Way to be salty, guys. It does seem like a bit of a personal dig at Affleck for the studio to turn around and say, “Oh yeah? Well if you’re going to quit in a huff, we’ll just get a director whose best-known work is about animals that fling their own poop at people!”

Nevertheless, here we are. Matt Reeves has gone from shortlisted superstar, to major contender, to the studio’s first choice for director of The Batman. Clearly there’s something about the primal, brutal, animalistic nature of the characters in his movies that works for DC and their vision of a Batman who doesn’t let pesky things like morals or a broken back get in his way.

Reeves has been officially offered the job, according to Deadline. The Batman, the most highly anticipated movie in the DCEU’s upcoming roster of titles, is his for the taking.

As long, that is, as he actually wants it.

Because, of course, a movie like The Batman is one of those projects that can quickly and efficiently end a Hollywood career. There’s an awful lot riding on this film, and no matter how fantastic or terrible Affleck’s movie might have been, whatever we finally get will ultimately end up being constantly compared to an imaginary, idealized version that exists in an alternate universe where Affleck stayed on the project.

In this superior timeline, Affleck’s Batman is exactly the right amount of dark and brooding, without being too grim. The villains all fall perfectly into place within the story, the narrative is tight and thoroughly enjoyable.

The movie wins multiple Academy Awards, and in recognition that the ultimate comic book superhero movie has been made, Kevin Feige officially cancels all future MCU movies, as Disney sells Marvel in its entirety to Warner Bros, so that Spider-Man can work as Batman’s footstool for the rest of eternity.

Innovations made during the production of this alternate universe version of The Batman lead directly to the discovery of a cure for cancer, climate change, world hunger, and the common cold. Everyone’s lives are perfect forever, and statues of Ben Affleck’s Batman are erected in every major city by gracious fans.

Or, to put it another way, the fact that Ben Affleck’s version of The Batman was never made, means that fans can idealize it, assuming that the finished movie would have been utterly and completely flawless.

Your movie can’t get a bad score on Rotten Tomatoes if you don’t actually film it.

So Matt Reeves has a choice.

He can attempt to live up to the hype by directing what will ultimately be a flawed movie, knowing full well that in taking on the project, he’ll have to deal with studio executives so pushy and repugnant that they forced the previous director off the project.

Or, he can politely decline the offer, and keep making his monkey movies, thereby making his own imaginary version of The Batman just as flawlessly intangible as the one Affleck didn’t make.

If Reeves actually does direct The Batman, kudos to him for taking on a challenge.

Maybe he ought to give Josh Trank a call, though, so he can plan which hole he should crawl into to die after DC ruins his life.

Matthew loffhagen

Matthew Loffhagen

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