Get ready for some next level self-congratulatory nonsense here. If you’d ever suspected that X-Men: Apocalypse tanked solely because Bryan Singer has forgotten what it was like to be a human being, rather than an Artist with a capital A, here’s your proof.
The director of four X-Men movies and an upcoming X-Men TV pilot has given an extensive interview to Mashable, and it’s pretty clear that Bryan Singer’s mutant power is the ability to bend himself in half and fit his head snugly inside his own anus.
For example, here’s a quote where Singer describes himself (just himself, nobody else) as being equal in terms of creative output to the entirety of Marvel Studios:
“Marvel Studios, they do their own films, then Fox Studios, we sort of do them separately when I make the X-Men films.”
When Marvel makes a movie, the whole studio is involved. When Fox makes an X-Men movie, it’s just Bryan Singer, doing all the work, with a little help from peons.
In fact, if anybody else even thinks about telling an X-Men story in any medium, Bryan Singer will do everything in his power to butt them out of the limelight and take all the glory for himself:
“The only reason I was able to direct [the upcoming TV show’s pilot] was because the movie I want to make next, I’m not going to be able to make until September, so it gave me four months, and I suddenly said, ‘Why don’t I take the helm?’”
Why don’t you take the helm, Bryan Singer? Maybe because you’re not the literal Alpha and Omega; the Apocalypse of the X-Men franchise?
See, all this time, we thought that Apocalypse was the least grounded of the X-Men movies. The core ideology of people being ostracized from society was swept away, and was replaced with a super awesome cool villain who can do anything, and who everybody loves.
Turns out, though, that this movie was just as ideologically charged as the others. We just didn’t notice it, because the central premise was meant to be, respect your betters. Sometimes, once in a generation, a genius all-powerful being comes along, and you should bow down and worship him. Sometimes it’s Apocalypse, and at other times, it’s Bryan Singer.
Know your place, filthy mortals.
Also, it’s interesting to learn that Bryan Singer is apparently going to start working on yet another X-Men movie in September. Whatever deals he’s signed with Fox, they just can’t seem to get rid of him.
Apparently, by the way, an unwanted direct sequel to Apocalypse is in the works after all. Pfffffffffttt.
But that’s of secondary importance right now. The future of the X-Men franchise is in television, because Bryan Singer is the best at everything, and anyone who doubts him should shut up.
“I’ve had great success with my TV show House on television. I love the format. I think it’s growing. Some of the best writing is in television. And you can tell stories over long stretches of time. It’s not the two-hour experience, it could be years of an experience. So why not take a universe that’s so multi-faceted like X-Men and bring it to this medium?”
Eww, this all feels a little Trumpy, doesn’t it? “My TV shows are the best TV shows, my ideas are great. I invented the idea of putting the X-Men to TV, by the way, even though Legion has been in the works for years, and I’ve only just remembered that TV is a thing.”
Look, whatever, Bryan Singer. Between Logan, New Mutants, and the upcoming Deadpoolverse, your new movie, and the small budget TV show that Matt Nix is showrunning but that you’re taking credit for, are the least exciting prospects on the horizon.
Maybe try holding off on the self-aggrandizing statements until you’ve proven that Apocalypse was a hiccup, because for the moment, it’s difficult to take anything you say seriously.