Man, how did we get here?
How did we end up in a situation where the most anticipated DC comic book movie is Aquaman?
Justice League is a write-off. The Flash can’t seem to keep a full roster of creatives on board for more than eight minutes. The Batman has left Ben Affleck a ruined husk of a man, and Gotham City Sirens is being directed by David Ayer. Wonder Woman has Chris Pine in it, so clearly that can’t be worth watching either.
(Just kidding, Chris, we love you really.)
And so, thanks in large part to Jason Momoa, Aquaman wins the award of Most Anticipated DC Movie—a prize that would be far sweeter if it had any genuine competition whatsoever.
News from this movie is coming thick and fast now, with Nicole Kidman in talks to join the project, while Yahya Abdul-Mateen II has officially signed on to play a key character.
Let’s play a little game. One of the actors mentioned above is pegged to play the villainous Black Manta. The other will be taking on the role of Arthur Curry’s mother.
You can decide for yourself which actor is connected to which role, but bear in mind that DC aren’t thinking too far outside the box here when it comes to challenging gender norms.
Kidman is an interesting choice for Aquaman’s mom, for two big reasons.
Firstly, she doesn’t look particularly similar to Jason Momoa (from a purely technical standpoint, it’s hard to imagine that guy erupting from the womb of such a tiny woman), and secondly, a lifetime of botox injections and plastic surgery means that she definitely doesn’t look her age.
Heck, even if she did, Kidman is only twelve years older than Momoa. Now imagining the view in that delivery room seems even more implausible.
(It’s probably true that Jason Momoa did not enter this world as a fully grown 6’4” bearded man, but this is a reality I choose to reject.)
If Kidman is to play Aquaman’s mom, there’s a pretty good chance that it’ll be in a flashback.
In other words, DC has already run out of ideas, and is recycling the exact script they used for Man of Steel. Considering the studio’s consistent refusal to acknowledge the importance of a good script, this makes sense.
Meanwhile, The Get Down’s Yahya Abdul-Mateen II will be playing Black Manta, the movie’s second villain, alongside Patrick Wilson’s Ocean Master.
Here’s a prediction: Black Manta is the main villain, Orm the Ocean Master is a friendly character for the most part who turns evil at some point. In other words, somebody at DC saw Doctor Strange and figured that plot would do.
So, basically, there aren’t going to be any new or original ideas on display in Aquaman? It’s just going to be a collection of tired superhero tropes and plot points that have been lifted from other movies?
And this is the best film on the upcoming DC roster?
Man, things are in bad shape for Geoff Johns at the moment.