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Vin Diesel, King of Terrible Decision Making, Wants a Groot Spinoff Movie

Vin Diesel is one of those guys that makes a lot of movies no one cares about, but is so integrally connected to some super successful franchises that he'll never really go away. He really should, especially considering how awful 90% of this guy's output is, but he won't. He's gonna be around making endless sequels to The Last Witch Hunter, and xXx, and Riddick because the only way he makes those movies people like—F&F and GotG—is if the studios give him a bunch of money to make movies no one likes—virtually every other film he's made.

Diesel's latest terrible idea, however, is that Groot should get his own spinoff movie. Why, you ask? Because fuck you, that's why! While speaking to MTV International, Diesel first mentions that he's anxious for Groot and The Hulk to face off in Infinity War, but he has plans for Groot beyond endless Avengers and Guardians sequels. Hell, he's even got a "hilarious" pitch for the Hulk and Groot showdown. Give a listen...


Diesel mentions that a Groot spinoff movie is something that "James Gunn has talked about," but Diesel clearly didn't understand that all that talk was likely just to placate him and get him to say "I am Groot" into the microphone so everyone could go to god damned lunch. He also thinks that a Groot spinoff movie is "inevitable," despite the fact that Marvel isn't really in the "spinoff" business. They're in the "let's work that guy into another movie's sequel" business. 

And trust me, whatever Vin Diesel thinks would make a Groot movie "great" is pretty much a list of reasons to never make that movie. Go back to riding your motorcycle on the ocean and call me when Guardians 2 is out. 

Steve attanasie

Steve Attanasie

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