When the majority of film fans hear the words “Michael” and “Bay” in the same sentence, they prepare for the worst.
Having driven both the Transformers and Ninja Turtle movie franchises into the ground, Bay remains completely committed to overblown explosions, illogical movie plots, and the kind of storytelling that makes your brain start to dribble out of your ears.
Even Ben Affleck can’t stand Bay’s directing style, as can be seen in his commentary for the 1998 drillsploitation (drilling exploitation) movie Armageddon.
So when Bay decided to publicly announce his thoughts on the possibility of directing a comic book movie, the buttock-clenching of ninety percent of internet users was audible, and more than a little startling.
Nobody waiting with buttocks clenched quite as tight as Affleck himself, who, depending on Bay’s decision, could have found himself stuck working with the infamous director in yet another movie that would no doubt be filled with far too many explosions, and creepy lingering shots of Megan Fox in slow motion.
It’s okay, though, comic book fans, you can safely unclench. Michael Bay’s not a fan of episodic storytelling, so he won’t be touching a Marvel or DC property any time soon.
According to an interview with Collider:
“I wouldn’t want to, it’s not my thing, it’s just not my gig. I don’t ever wanna take someone like a third of something or second of something. I gotta do my own thing, because the most fun is when a real director creates the world. You know, you talk to Ridley Scott, one our favorite things to do is to create the world. Steven Spielberg, create the world. That is what it’s about. If I were to do something I would have to redo it my way.”
What an utter, fantastic relief.
While Marvel’s conveyer belt approach to moviemaking has its fair share of drawbacks, if it keeps Michael Bay from touching any more beloved comic book properties, all is forgiven.
Of course, this isn’t to say that Michael Bay doesn’t like longwinded move franchises that tell episodic stories in a larger, far more convoluted narrative.
By all accounts, he loves those! He’s just not happy to make one unless he’s fully in control.
All of this is a roundabout way of pointing out that the director of Bad Boys 2 isn’t going to release his death grip on the Transformers any time soon.
He might have plans to expand his sentient CGI vomit universe, but all new directors that are brought in will have to toe the line by filling their films with explosions, hollow catchphrases, racist stereotypes, and, wherever possible, gratuitous Megan Fox.
Oh, so much Megan Fox.
You poor, poor woman.
Photo Credit: Armani Jeans