Hey, do you know what would make Suicide Squad even worse?
What if, instead of Will Smith, it featured Megan Fox in a skimpy green leotard.
Not to bash poor old Megan Fox—surely, she has to suffer through more than her fair share of leering and objectification on a normal day, and that’s just from Michael Bay.
It’s just that, in large part because of her close working relationship with the perverted Transformers director, having Megan Fox in a movie kind of gives it a very specific vibe. All her films have a similar stylistic quality to them that’s hard to pin down precisely.
Put simply, they’re crap. All Megan Fox movies are utter garbage.
Jonah Hex. The Dictator. Jennifer’s Body. Ninja Turtles and Transformers—yes, even the first one, back when Shia LaBeouf hadn’t entirely destroyed his reputation, and the idea of giant CGI robots in disguise didn’t feel tedious yet. The original movie was terrible, too.
Also, Bad Boys II. It’s way worse than you remember, and it also features a jailbait Megan Fox dancing around in a bikini.
You really have to hope that Michael Bay is on a watchlist by this point. Or, hopefully, all watchlists ever.
Now, Megan Fox appearing in Gotham City Sirens is just a rumor at this point, based on some fairly sketchy analysis of her recent online purchases which hopefully put the guys from Bleeding Cool on a watchlist of their own.
According to an unnamed source, Fox has been bulk buying Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy comic books, and having them delivered to her address within Warner Studios.
From this, it’s been speculated that Fox might be in the running to play Ivy, who’ll appear alongside Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn, and Catwoman, if David Ayer’s tweets are to be believed.
(Side note: ugh. David Ayer really shouldn’t still be relevant in Hollywood by this point.)
But then, if all of Megan Fox’s movies are just absolutely terrible, perhaps she’ll fit right in on what is essentially going to be Suicide Squad Gone Wild.
That said, An actor of Fox’s reputation is probably not the healthiest thing for the role. After all, Uma Thurman was a household name herself, and her Poison Ivy is hardly held in high esteem.
Margot Robbie was a great choice for Harley Quinn, in large part because she wasn’t mega-famous. Sure she’d done a sex scene with Leo “I’ll Freeze To Death If That’s What It Takes To Get An Oscar” DiCaprio, but she was hardly Megan Fox levels of famous.
But, hey, this is DC we’re talking about. The studio casts as many famous actors as they can get their hands on, to cover up for their complete lack of moviemaking talent.
That’s why, if Megan Fox is going to be Poison Ivy, the perfect choice for Catwoman is:
Michelle Pfeiffer, obviously.
We need to make Tim Burton's movies canon in the new DCEU.
Photo Credit: Splash