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‘Fantastic Beasts’ Sequels to Ditch Newt Scamander

Does anyone else get the impression that even JK Rowling herself doesn’t really know what to do with this Fantastic Beasts series that she’s been working on.

After all, the first movie wasn’t her idea at all—Warner Bros wanted a spin-off, and Rowling figured if someone was going to butcher her literary universe, she might as well do it herself.

It’s pretty clear throughout Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them that Rowling didn’t want to make a movie about Newt Scamander at all. She wants to tell a Dumbledore prequel, and now finds herself in the awkward position of trying to divert an entire franchise of magic Pokémon into a tense, emotionally fraught wizard World War II parallel.

Now has come the news that future movies in the Fantastic Beasts franchise probably won’t feature all that much of Newt Scamander, and will likely feature fewer and fewer beasts as time goes on, too.

Apparently, future movies will instead focus on a young Dumbledore, his ex-boyfriend Gellert Grindelwald, and Credence the magic ghost vomit cloud.

Boo.

It’s hard to imagine a movie franchise that’s made more enjoyable by having less Eddie Redmayne in it.

(Let’s face it, Jupiter Ascending would have been total garbage either way).

It’s also disappointing to hear that future Fantastic Beast movies will be dark, depressing, and grim.

The Harry Potter series of movies is notable for starting out as a lighthearted childish romp with elements of slightly off-putting danger, which slowly transitions into a colorless, joyless mess of muddy visuals and crying teenagers.

One of the joys of Fantastic Beasts is a return to a more lighthearted story (if you entirely ignore every time Colin Farrell is on screen). It’s a shame that for sequels, we’ll be getting a bait-and-switch that sees Newt Scamander, Jacob Kowalski, and all those fantastic beasts, replaced with Blitz bombings, fascism, and Johnny Depp.

 

Eww. Johnny Depp.

How anyone could think that trading Eddie Redmayne for the box office poison that is this decade’s Depp, is beyond comprehension.

Let’s not forget the wondrous movies that Depp has graced recently with his bizarre character acting.

He played a pedophile wolf in Into the Woods.

He was a racist stereotype in The Lone Ranger.

Then there was whatever Mordecai was.

So get ready for the next weird Johnny Depp character to grace our screens when Fantastic Beasts returns, with a diminished role for its main character.

Also, Ezra Miller’s going to be coming back, hopefully sporting an even more nauseating haircut.

 

 

Well, this is the plan anyway. It remains to be seen how far Warner Bros will actually go with it.

Fantastic Beasts has been a surprisingly hard sell among Potterheads. Its opening weekend box office takings are lower than any Harry Potter movie that’s come before, and that includes the one where Harry and pals mope around in a tent for two hours.

If things get bad enough for the franchise, Warner Bros might just give up on Fantastic Beasts entirely, and make a movie in which a digitally aged Daniel Radcliffe has trouble bonding with his son.

If we’re really unlucky, Warner Bros will spin The Cursed Child out into a trilogy all of its own.


Matthew loffhagen

Matthew Loffhagen

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