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'Batman v Superman' Ultra-Limited Fully Extended Edition Coming for Christmas... Because God Hates You


Despite the fact that I have yet to encounter anyone who doesn't enjoy the film ironically, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is getting another absurdly expensive home video release just in time for Christmas, which is proof positive that God hates you. 

That's right, even though you went out and spent twenty five or thirty bucks on the film back in July, now Warner Brothers wants you to buy the exact same disc with no substantive changes to it because it comes in a fancy box with two action figures, six "collectible" trading cards, reprints of Batman and Superman's first comic book appearances, and a Blu-ray of Man of Steel you also—presumably—already own. And all this can be yours all over again for the low, low price of $123.99

Any enjoyment I derived from my first viewing of this film immediately drained out of me on second viewing. My oldest daughter told me afterwards that she really didn't like it, and when I asked her why, this is what she said... "The movie's called Batman versus Superman and they didn't even fight, except for five minutes near the end. It was just stupid." Bear in mind, she's 10 and has liked most every movie I've ever shown her. This was the first time she'd ever really disliked a movie, and I don't blame her. 

Honestly, if you believe in God and still think he or she is benevolent, I would hope that this would make you reconsider such a notion. This proves pretty conclusively that there either is no God, or that God is a vindictive son of a bitch who enjoys watching you continuously shell out your hard earned money for subpar entertainment. Either way, this thing is coming out December 6, so you have until then to make up your mind. 

Steve attanasie

Steve Attanasie

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