A few weeks back, we got a look at Elizabeth Banks as Rita Repulsa, and I loved the new costume. Sexy, sleek, techy, and badass. Well, now we've gotten a first look at the new Power Rangers costumes, and, well... take a look:
I'm disappointed. I don't know what I expected, but it isn't this. First off, boob plate armor? I hope Elizabeth Banks' Rita Repulsa is as woefully inept as the original, because boob plate armor will actually kill you.
Also, how come the ladies' armor gives them plenty of room for their boobs (and as a busty lady who can fit her rack comfortably into a sports bra, I can tell you that molded cups outlining your curves are NOT needed), but there is literally no room for the guys' genitals in their suits! Are they gelded like Ken dolls? Is ritual castration something part of becoming a Power Ranger? AND WHY DO THEY LOOK MENACING? THE POWER RANGERS ARE THE *GOOD* GUYS! OH GOD PLEASE TELL ME THIS WASN'T INSPIRED BY ZACK SNYDER ANYTHING.
Things that the new Power Rangers costumes look like:
-Iron Man's rejected first draft of his suit
-Actors in a Transformers Porn parody
-Fuckboy Ski Suits
-A virtual reality S&M cyber sex simulation
-The cast of Jersey Shore: We're On The Moon Now, You Guys!
-Kim Kardashian and Jay-Z's Next Met Ball Getup
-What would happen if the Brood got possessed by the Phalanx and then fucked a bunch of My Little Ponies
-A Project Runway Challenge where the challenge fabric was tinfoil
-Rejected concept art for a Black Eyed Peas music video
-Lady Gaga's wedding party
-A Daft Punk convention
-Robocop at Pride Parade
-New 52 Amalgam Comics
Not into it.
Power Rangers, starring Becky G, RJ Cyler, Ludi Lin, Dacre Montgomery and Naomi Scott, and Elizabeth Banks as Rita Repulsa, is set for release on March 24th, 2017.