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It's the First Trailer for 'Assassin's Creed,' Which is Still a Real Thing


If you can keep a straight face after hearing an Oscar winning actresses say a line like, "Welcome to the Spanish Inquisition," just before watching an ass-kicking montage of 16th Century warriors doing battle to a Kanye West song, the new Assassin's Creed trailer is right up your alley. Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotillard re-team with Macbeth director Justin Kurtzel for this adaptation of the popular video game series due out this Christmas.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm always skeptical of formulas that just don't work. In the run up to Arkham Asylum being released, I had to constantly remind people to reign in their expectations because there had never been a good Batman video game on any system prior to that one. Here we have a similar situation due to this film's pedigree, so I must remind everyone that despite the flipping and parkouring and various other cool looking things in this trailer, it's still a video game adaptation, and those are never, ever good. Ever. This movie has to basically be better than 1995's Mortal Kombat to take the title of best video game movie ever, and that's really not saying much of anything. I suppose it's going to also have to be better than District B-13 or whatever the fuck that movie was called in order to be the best parkour movie ever.

What I'm getting at is that the bars this film is attempting to go over are not high at all. So don't let the appearance of Fassbender, Cotillard, or especially Jeremy Irons fool you into thinking this might be a prestige picture. It's not. It's a video game movie. Temper your expectations accordingly. 

Via Jimmy Kimmel Live! on YouTube

Steve attanasie

Steve Attanasie

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