It's been announced that Sharon Stone has a "wee" role in the Marvel Cinematic U. So who might Sharon be cast as? Steve and I have thought long and hard, and we're going to battle it out to come up with the most likely character Sharon is playing. My first choice is the most obvious one:
Janet Van Dyne
BRANDY: C'mon. A "wee" role? As in, little? As in, TINY? As in, "so small she's stuck in the quantum realm"? We know that people who get caught in the quantum realm can come back, as Scott Lang did, and we know that when Pym found out about that, his eyes lit up, which means we're pretty much guaranteed to see Janet come back from the realm. Stone is the right age to play Janet Van Dyne, and the "wee' part just seems like a hint. Plus, reuniting with her Basic Instinct co-star Michael Douglas would be amazing.
STEVE: Yeah, I know this is unlikely given Hollywood ageism concerning females over 40, but if you want me to believe that Josh Brolin's Thanos is willing to destroy the entire universe for a woman's honor, what better woman than Sharon Stone? I can't imagine her role being anything more than "wee" in the first Infinity War film, so I'm going to take her at her word, rather than attempt to read into it. Death will likely be a credits-based cameo, and I wholeheartedly believe that Sharon Stone's got a face that could launch a thousand ships—or in this case, superheroes and villains. Brandy, what else have you got?
BRANDY: Dammit, Death is a good one. That should have been mine! Considering she said "a Marvel movie", with no indication of what that film might be, I'm guessing it could be...
BRANDY: Same idea as Death—the Goddess of all the dead that died in battle. If this was twenty years ago, I could have easily said Enchantress, as Stone's a dead ringer for the Thor baddie. But I think Stone has the gravitas to play someone like Hela, and as the role is heavily costumed, the casting directors could get around Hollywood's ageism. However, I'll fully cop to the fact that this may just be wishful fangirling on my part, because I want to see Stone glide across the screen wearing that headpiece. Got any other ideas, Steve?
STEVE: Ant-Man and Wasp are going to need a villain to face-off against in their upcoming Phase 3 film, and while it would be a bit of a cop-out to face Yellowjacket again, this was actually the first thing to pop in my head after Janet Van Dyne. Phase 3 seems to be embracing progress, introducing the MCU's first female villain in the form of Cate Blanchett, and we all know Stone can do the villain thing, so why not? DeMara also has ties to the Guardians and the Avengers, so while it's a bit of a long shot, I'm thinking this might be the way they go. How about it, Brandy? Any more obscure female Marvel characters up your sleeve?
BRANDY: This one is esoteric as hell, but if they're gearing up for Infinity War, it's totally possible The Goddess could be in an upcoming Marvel film. Infinity Crusade follows the events of the Infinity Wars, when Adam Warlock takes possession of the Infinity Gauntlet and purges the good and evil aspects of his being to become a totally logical being, who can therefore use the Gauntlet wisely. This act made his good aspects flesh, creating a character known as The Goddess. The Goddess steals the five Cosmic Cubes collected by the Magus. Physically, again, Stone looks like The Goddess, and the character fits with the "Inifinity" theme. Steve, any more?
STEVE: I'll take your esoteric choice and raise you a "no chance in hell" option: Captain Marvel baddie Doctor Minerva. Guardians of the Galaxy gave us a taste of the Kree, so why not bring the second most famous Kree—next to Ronan—to the screen as a villain in the upcoming Captain Marvel film? Again, ageism may prevent this kind of thing from happening, but the most badass woman in the MCU deserves an equally badass foe. With precious little information out there about the film, it's possible that Stone has to remain mum until a director is officially announced, but I'd love to see her take a crack at Minerva. What do you think, Brandy? Have we plumbed the depths of the Marvel Universe?
Gender-Swapped Fin Fang Foom
BRANDY: ...Because fuck it, I'm out of ideas. *flips a metaphorical table*
How about you, readers? Who do YOU think Sharon Stone will be playing? Hit us up in the comments.