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Existence of New Nicholas Sparks Film Refutes Existence of God

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There is a scourge upon this moviegoing land and its name is Nicholas Sparks. This schlockmeister has been forcing his dreck upon the married and otherwise attached men of this world for the better part of 20 years, and there's no sign of him slowing down. Coming Soon (link below) has brought us some exclusive pictures from the set of his new film, The Choice. What choice is someone going to have to make? The choice whether or not to stay with the one they love? The choice to have his baby? The choice to take a cinderblock and repeatedly smash my head against it rather than be subjected to another one of this fraudulent hack's shitty, shitty movies? I'd take that choice for sure.

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How about that tagline, though? "Let Your Heart Decide." Those are the last four words to the opening verse of "A Whole New World," I know that much. Also, your male lead is Discount Liam Neeson from Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter? Really? Was Josh Duhamel unavailable, or has he finally aged out of shit like this? Unless forced to watch it by its inclusion before another movie, I won't even see the trailer for this godforsaken thing. Seriously, I would sooner listen to this 15 minute loop of nothing but the sax solo from the second worst song in history next to "MacArthur Park," Gerry Rafferty's "Baker Street."

Via Coming Soon


Steve attanasie

Steve Attanasie

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