<< Go Back


Hi-5: The Five Hottest G.I. Joe Babes

5. Zarana

While not a traditional beauty, Zarana, a master of deception for the evil Cobras, finds a place on this list because what she may lack in sexiness she makes up in spiciness. Zarana's look was a straddle between punk, new wave and lesbian chic, which is a lot to handle when you're a kid. But her character's "filecard" (the cardboard piece attached to the plastic casing holding the figurine) depicted Zarana in a low cut shirt displaying a hefty chest and cleavage which made it the raciest file card, by far.

4. Jinx

What's the girl of your dreams when you're an 8-year-old? Why, a female ninja, of course. Enter Kimi Arashikage, AKA Jinx. While Jinx's character has a convoluted back-story involving ninja training, Japan and someone named "Hard Master," all you need to know is that she's basically the red, female counterpart to Snake-Eyes, the most famous and, arguably, popular G.I. Joe figure of all time. While a female ninja certainly SHOULD have a better spot on the list, Jinx loses some points for remaining masked for most of her "career" as a G.I. Joe.

3. Scarlett

Let's move on from a red-suited ninja to a red-headed bow and arrow expert named, appropriately enough, Scarlett. Scarlett (real name Shana Mae O'Hara) was the first female introduced to the G.I. Joe cannon and I, for one, give the fine people at Hasbro kudos for taking a chance by making their first a red head. While a bow and arrow are no where near as interesting or hot as ninjitsu skills, you can see Scarlett's face, so she beats out Jinx by default.

2. Cover Girl

Cover Girl's looks and back-story guaranteed her a good slot on the list--she's a former model who uses her beauty to her advantage in the battlefield. Cover Girl, aka Courtney A. Kreiger, is actually supposed to be considered the most beautiful girl in the G.I. Joe universe, as displayed by various characters' "fantasies" about her (which were expressed in the G.I. Joe cartoons and comic books). But she loses points for lacking depth outside her good looks. For shame, Cover Girl. For shame.

1. Baroness

Baroness, the number one hottie on this list, is one of the leaders of Cobra. Her heart is as black as her raven hair. Wow, how poetic. On top of the fact that she's evil, Baroness is way hot and this combination is why she tops the list. Because as any child of the 80s will tell you, "bad" is "good." 

Steve attanasie

Double Viking